


That's Not My Name

by DestielTheShipOfDreams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Based on a Tumblr Post, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, blaspheming during sex, opposite of a daddy kink, request fic, sex flashbacks, we all know where this is going, well more like deansexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:59:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielTheShipOfDreams/pseuds/DestielTheShipOfDreams
Summary: Dean keeps praising Castiel's father in bed and obviously, it makes the angel uncomfortable. Frustrated, he gets back at Dean... by doing the same to him. Request fic but also inspired by a tumblr post about awkward destiel sex. Yay! Pretty mild smut but rated E for a reason. Some fluff.





	That's Not My Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was my first ever request fic on ff.net from the lovely ff.net user Anloquen - https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5695795/Anloquen - but was also inspired by this old tumblr post: http://mishasminions.tumblr.com/post/25545161029 :)   
> This is pretty light as far as smut goes, it's more humour and fluff really. Hope you likey!

“Cas... yes...!”

 

Castiel almost drew blood biting his lip as he gazed down at Dean, immersed not only in intoxicating pleasure but in the way his lover looked in the moment. Green eyes fluttering open and then squeezing shut again, damp lips parted enticingly, freckles smattered across flushed, gleaming skin... Dean was _addictive._

 

“Cas, oh _fuck_... Oh-”

 

And he belonged entirely to Castiel. The thought made the angel throw his head back in ecstasy, fingers digging harshly into the other man’s hip and shoulder. He moaned breathlessly, lustfully. Countless heated make-out sessions, groping, grinding, hands and mouths and awkward, murmured conversations had led to this finally happening, and Castiel was very, _very_ pleased. It wasn’t that Castiel was particularly interested in sex as a pastime. He’d tried it before and it was nice, but so were food and sleep. Human things. No, what Castiel was obsessed with was _Dean_. Knowing him and loving him and _having_ him in every possible way.

 

“Mmm, Cas, yes...”

 

“Dean-”

 

Castiel’s choked whisper cut off as he groaned, overtaken by sensation, head dropping to nuzzle at Dean’s sweaty neck. He was close. Dean was probably closer. Snaking a hand between them, Castiel listened to Dean’s voice crack and fall apart as he tested this theory out. Oh, this was perfect, this was everything-

 

“Oh, God, _God_ , yes!”

 

Castiel paused, scrunching his face up in annoyance. Seriously? _Again_? They had spoken about this. The first time this had happened Cas had been shocked and confused and Dean had agreed then that he would try to stop, but it had happened twice more since. Castiel had explained, the latest time, that it made him uncomfortable and destroyed his arousal and really just ruined the whole atmosphere. Dean had looked torn between amusement and contrition but in the face of having his sex life threatened, he agreed that it would never happen again.

 

“Cas, don’t... don’t stop, _please _...”__

__

Castiel frowned but slowly began to move again, tightening and twisting his fingers at the same time. The unpleasant shock hadn’t affected him too much physically so he guessed things would still turn out alright, but why did Dean do it? Was it so difficult to just say Castiel’s name instead? The angel closed his eyes and tried to banish it from his mind, concentrating instead on the physical sensations, on the sound of Dean moaning in his ear, on the feel of their silky, soaked skin moving together. It was easy to lose himself in the rhythm of sex again. He was so close, one more, one more thrust-

 

“Cas, Cas, yes, oh, GOD!”

 

Dean was coming. Dean was coming and he was actually fucking shouting the name of Castiel’s _father_ to the ceiling. It was an odd moment. Castiel was too close to the edge not to fall over it, but that damn name still pissed him off and took him out of himself even as he should have been brain-dead with pleasure. His eyes flashed open, blazing cyanic fury.

 

“ _John _,”__ he snarled right in Dean’s ear, even though he knew it was really not alright to do so. He snapped his hips forward as he came and it lent a nice authentic sighing sound as he said it again, moaning the name of a man he’d never met and feeling Dean tense up with horror underneath him. “Uh, John...”

 

Then came the blankness, the floating feeling of bliss, the weak limbs and dazed smile. Castiel rolled off of Dean and sank into the rumpled sheets, eyes closed and ears ringing as he felt the sweat begin to cool on his skin. He’d abruptly forgotten, for the moment, how angry he’d been just seconds before and he sighed in contentment. Humans had it so good. _So_ good...

 

“What the fuck, Cas?”

 

Dean’s voice had that pleasant wrecked sound that Castiel had come to covet, but the tone of it was anything but pleasant. It was shocked, angry, upset, _hurt._ Castiel’s eyes flew open and he swallowed nervously, shame beginning to creep up on him. He shouldn’t have done that. Turning his head, he flinched as he found Dean’s hard green eyes already upon his face, accusing and furious.

 

“I.... I’m sorry, Dean.”

 

Dean heaved himself up, still breathing hard from exertion, swiping the sheet over the mess on his stomach. Castiel did the same, feeling more awful by the second. He’d ruined it. Well, they both had.

 

“My Dad. My _Dad._ ” Dean ground out the words, fists clenched in the sheets scrunched in his lap. “You fuckin’ well said my _Dad’s name_ during _sex. _”__

__

Castiel huffed and crossed his arms, drawing his knees up to meet them and frowning sideways at the other man. “So did you, Dean.”

 

“I told you, everyone says that-”

 

“Well, not _everyone_ is copulating with an angel, are they?” Castiel snapped, feeling angry again. Dean opened and then closed his mouth, looking a little stumped. There was a short, tense silence before he shrugged grumpily.

 

“Well, I guess not. No. But still. My _Dad_.”

 

“Yes, Dean, I know, it happened to me too. When you _screamed my father’s name in my ear._ ”

 

“For fuck’s sake, Cas! It’s not the same!”

 

“No, it’s not, because I have refrained until now from doing this to you, whereas you have done this to me _four times_ , Dean! Four!”

 

Dean looked as enraged as Castiel felt, but the angel was hiding it better, clasping his knees tightly and narrowing icy eyes at the object of his ire. The stare-off lasted for around eight seconds before Dean looked away, shoulders drooping a little although his scowl remained.

 

“Fine. I guess I didn’t try hard enough to stop saying... your father’s name. In, uh, these situations. Sorry. I guess it’s as weird for you as it was for me just now. And now that I know how fucking weird it is... I’ll stop, properly this time. OK?”

 

He tossed the last word at Castiel like a petulant child, but Castiel smiled slightly, loosening his arms.

 

“OK, Dean. Thank you. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have retaliated like that. I didn’t... I mean, I wasn’t _thinking_ about John-”

 

“How about you just don’t say his name again? Ever?” Dean interrupted, looking slightly nauseous. Castiel nodded meekly, pulling the sheets higher around his waist and rearranging his legs into a crossed position. He watched Dean sigh and lean back against the headboard, eyes closed, looking exhausted.

 

Castiel wondered if he was overreacting. Maybe he needed to try harder at letting go of his connection to God; after all, his father hadn’t been home in a long while. Maybe it was up to him to curb his gut reaction, rather than up to Dean to break a long-held habit of blaspheming during sex. Castiel twisted a corner of the sheets between his fingers, feeling the fibres crush together in his grip, hearing the microscopic tearing noise as the material came apart under the pressure of his power. Even weakened and cut off from Heaven, he was a born warrior, built to destroy. But what he had with Dean was something that he wanted to preserve and nurture and treasure. What if he destroyed this too?

 

Castiel remembered the first time that Dean had made the verbal mistake. Cas had been kneeling over him on the bed, frowning in concentration, very invested in giving his first ever blowjob.

 

_“Cas, you’re doing... oohhh wow, you’re doing great, just...”_

_Castiel was immensely glad that they’d progressed to this. Dean was the one with all the experience, yet the angel had been the one coaxing him through most of their relationship in the early days. Of course, most important was how Dean was feeling and thinking and whether he was having doubts or regrets. But Castiel was concerned about the mundane things too, like sugar-to-coffee ratios and blowjobs. He wanted to get everything right._

_“Yes, baby, yes-”_

_Lust-blown green eyes rolled back in their sockets and Castiel would have smiled if he’d been able. As it was, he performed a confident flourish with his tongue and watched smugly as his human arched off of the bed._

_“Oh, God!”_

_The smugness disappeared and Castiel almost bit down in shock, which would have been disastrous even though he could heal any damage. Pulling away from his lover, he stared at him in confusion. Dean’s eyes opened at the loss of contact and he raised his head, peering at Castiel with a similar expression of puzzlement. When he spoke his voice was husky with want but concerned._

_“Is everything OK? You still alright with this? Did I, uh, cut off your air or something?”_

_“I don’t need to breathe.”_

_Dean grinned and winked at him. “Right, of course... I’m a lucky fella, huh?”_

_Castiel didn’t return the smile and Dean frowned, sitting up. “Cas, what is it?”_

_“Why did you say my father’s name?” Castiel asked slowly, genuinely flummoxed. Dean looked lost for a moment before realisation dawned on his face, and he gave a quick chuckle._

_“Oh, fuck, I guess I did. Sorry. That’s just what people say when they’re getting off, you know?”_

_“No,” said Castiel shortly. “I don’t have much experience with ‘getting off’, Dean.”_

_Dean flushed and hurriedly tucked himself back into his boxers, wincing slightly; he was still half-hard. “Well, shit, Cas, you know I’m working on fixing that, it’s just that we agreed to take this stuff slowly-”_

_“That wasn’t a complaint,” Castiel interrupted impatiently. He was more disturbed by hearing Dean say his father’s name like that than he wanted to admit. “I just really don’t like you saying God’s name during a sexual act.”_

_“Oh. Well, I dunno what to say to you, it’s just what I say. It means I’m having a good time, Cas, it’s a compliment!” He smiled winningly, leaning forward and catching Castiel’s eye. The angel shook his head solemnly._

_“I understand that, and I’m sorry, but... please try to stop. It makes me very uncomfortable. He’s my father, Dean.”_

_There was a short silence and Castiel’s heart thumped unevenly in his chest. He didn’t slow it down, distracted by trying to decipher Dean’s facial expressions. This was the first time that Castiel had ever really made a demand about any aspect of their relationship. He suddenly needed to know that Dean would listen to him, respect his wishes, care about his desires._

_“Alright,” muttered the hunter eventually. He nodded decisively and his voice grew stronger. “If it bothers you, I’ll stop. I mean, I’ll try; it’s kinda hard to think straight when you’re being sucked off, you know?”_

_Castiel felt his tension melt into dizzying relief and he pressed a spontaneous kiss to Dean’s surprised lips, smiling against them. He sat back with an uncharacteristic bounce to his movements._

_“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot.”_

 

Now, weeks later and with so much progress made in other areas of their life together, the two of them were still stumbling over this same stupid problem when they were in bed. It was tiring and frustrating and upsetting and Castiel so wanted to not care what Dean said when he was in the throes of pleasure. But he did care, and it had made him do something really fucking dumb. How human of him. Castiel’s shoulders slumped as he gazed at the weary face of the man he loved.

 

“I really am sorry, Dean,” he whispered, feeling like crap for turning their first time into a soiled memory and an argument. He felt almost like crying, which he very rarely did. Hugging his arms around his own waist, he peered miserably at his best friend and soulmate, wishing that he could rewind to earlier in the evening when they first tumbled onto the bed, playful and excited and a little bit shy. Oh, shit, he actually did have tears in his eyes. How embarrassing.

 

Dean opened one eye, still irritated, but swiftly opened the other when he saw the sadness in the familiar blue gaze. He sat up and leaned towards Castiel, stroking a hand down his arm to tangle their fingers together, speaking softly and quickly.

 

“No, Cas, baby, it’s OK. I’m not that mad. It was just a stupid crappy thing, that’s all, it won’t happen again.”

 

“I ruined it,” Castiel said in a flat, low voice, unwilling to become overly emotional. He sniffed determinedly and squeezed Dean’s fingers. The hunter ducked his head to meet Castiel’s eyes and smiled at him.

 

“No way. I mean, yes, OK, just that last bit maybe. But mostly it was awesome. Like... really awesome.”

 

Dean winked at him, clearly trying to flirt to alleviate the tension, and Castiel took a deep breath and smiled back. “It was?”

 

“Fuck, yes! We should, uh, do that again sometime.” He scooted closer to the angel, smirking. Castiel tilted his head and mirrored the expression, warmth replacing the anxious guilt inside him. He swayed closer to Dean, gaze drifting suggestively down to his mouth.

 

“We should?”

 

“Definitely. I need to practice screaming _your_ name,” Dean murmured against Castiel’s lips before capturing them in a kiss, and Castiel decided that the old human saying was certainly worth bearing in mind: practice makes perfect.


End file.
